The Killer Tuna Jump
by dancing-with-angels99
Summary: Basically Sam, Freddie, Cat, Jade and Robbie's POV of the episode :) R&R!


**I do not own iCarly or Sam & Cat, and I think it's highly unlikely that I ever will :(**

*Freddie POV*  
It had been a pretty boring day. Mom had given me an extra tick bath this morning because apparently she read on the internet that depressed people were 40% more likely to attract germs.  
Seeing as she had caught me staring at Carly's door for half an hour yesterday, I guess in her book I am completely suicidal.  
After she had given me possibly the longest pep talk ever, I escaped to the Groovy Smoothie.  
T-Bo was still working there, and as he spotted me and slid up to my table, wearing what I recognized as my mother's pink slippers, and offered me a pickle on a stick, it almost felt like nothing had changed.  
Like Carly hadn't gone to Italy and Sam hadn't gone to LA, and that I would go back to the Shay's apartment and film iCarly and eat spaghetti tacos and talk about Sam's prison record (a surprisingly popular topic).  
I was walking back to Bushwell,trying to decipher a very strangely worded text from Gibby, when she called.  
I kind of freaked out internally, ever since Sam had randomly phoned and asked me how to sabotage another babysitting business a few weeks ago, I had basically been waiting for her to call. I know it sounds stupid but I was kind of scared to make the first move.  
I then went through my little macho routine. Spencer had taught it to me and it was a surprisingly good way of feeling more confident slash manly.  
"Hey Sam, what's up?"  
"It's not Sam, it's Cat, her roommate,"  
"Oh," my shoulders slumped.  
I did remember Sam saying something about a roommate but it hadn't really registered, I'd been to excited just to hear her voice.  
"Well, er, hi Cat."  
I heard some fumbling around the other end of the line then,  
"Hi! Is this Benson comma Freddie?"  
I held in a chuckle, again, there had been something about the roommate being a little ditzy.  
"Uh, yeah, it is."  
More fumbling.  
"Okay, are you a good friend of Sam's?"  
I smiled unconsciously.  
"Yeah... yeah, you could say that."  
Then my apartment door opened and out stepped my mother, armed with some kind of brush.  
"Who are you talking to?" she asked, exasperated.  
I sighed, I should've known this would happen.  
"Mom, please!"  
She shook her head and pointed the brush at me in a menacing manner.  
"Are you staring at Carly's door again?"  
I looked at her annoyed, partly at being caught out before and partly because she was getting in the way of whatever this Cat girl was trying to tell me.  
"She is in Italy, and she will never love you!"  
Mom's voice went high pitched at the end and I got a sudden urge to stick my tongue out at her.  
Which I did, probably with the least dignity possible.  
"HELLLOOO? Come to LA right now!"  
Cat's voice on the other end of the line almost made me jump, but I quickly got over it, and then registered what she'd just said.  
"Wait... to LA?"  
She sighed loudly.  
"Yes, stands for Los Angeles."  
Again, I withheld a laugh.  
"I know, but why do I need to come there?"  
There was a brief pause, then with her voice a fraction quieter, she said, "It's about Sam!"  
I rolled my eyes. Typical. Sam couldn't stay out of trouble for more than two minutes.  
"What'd she get arrested for this time?" I ask, trying to ignore my mom very loudly running a bath inside, presumably for me.  
"No, no, she was... uh... run over by a sports utility vehicle!"  
My heart dropped.  
No, that wasn't possible.  
"Sam got run over?"  
I felt my hands grow sweaty, and I very nearly dropped the phone, but luckily I was able to hear what Cat was saying.  
"Yeah, and it's real bad, y'know, bleeding gums, fractured bones, broken buttocks."  
I frowned, for a moment forgetting the situation and almost blushed, but her next words brought me back to the real world.  
"You better get here fast."  
Immediately I began to freak out again.  
"Okay, okay, I... do you think she'll be alright?"  
Another brief silence, then she yelled "No more questions!" before hanging up, leaving me standing in the corridor staring at my Pear phone.  
Then the door opened and my mother reappeared, still holding a brush, and scrunched her face up before announcing that she had an itch.  
I turned to her, in exasperation. "That is not my responsibility!"

*Cat POV*  
I was just drinking Nonna's lemonade in the kitchen and thinking about giraffes when there was a knock at the door, for a moment I actually thought there was a giraffe at the door!  
Haha, silly me, giraffes can't knock, they don't have any hands!  
Then I remembered!  
My evil plan was about to be put in action!  
"Ahhhh! Freddie's here! I'm coming!"  
I dropped my glass and skipped over to the door, making sure my skirt wasn't ruffled and my hair was neat, before opening it.  
"Well, hello-"  
But it wasn't Freddie. It was just stupid Dice.  
"Urgh! What?" I yelled storming away from the door.  
Stupid stupid Dice, ruining my incredible plan.  
"Hey, have you seen Sam?"  
He looked pretty desperate, and usually I would help him but today wasn't about Dice! It was about me, and Freddie and Sam and Jade. And giraffes. Just cause I said so.  
Besides, why would he think I would know where Sam was? I felt like millions of tiny rainbows where going to burst out of my head, I was angry.  
Ahaa... rainbows...  
No! Concentrate Cat!  
"Oh, she's just out with MY friend Jade, probably shopping and trying on hats, just having a big old fun montage together!"  
I was about to reach for some secret bra bibble, but Dice very rudely interrupted me saying something about tuna fish trouble.  
I frowned and walked back to the kitchen to get some more lemonade.  
"I thought you got that dirty skipper person to jump over them with his motorcycle."  
Dice took out his phone.  
"He won't do it! He says that Kansas razorback tuna fish are too dangerous to jump over. What am I gonna do?"  
I was about to pour myself some more lemonade when the someone knocked on the door.  
"Hey, Dice!"  
He looked up, "Yeah?"  
"Get out!"  
I pushed him towards the glass door, "Who's at the door?" he yelled trying to resist my ninja strength skills. Hehe.  
"Freddie Benson!" I yelled back opening the door and pushing him out.  
"Who's Freddie Benson?" Dice shouted  
I grabbed the door handle, "An astronaut!" I replied before slamming the glass door and locking it.  
"Hey, I wanna meet an astronaut!" Dice yelled.  
I just smacked the door with my hand and he ran off.  
Haha.  
Oooh Freddie!  
I pulled my skirt and tucked my hair behind my ears and then opened the front door.  
"Well, Hello Freddie Benson!"  
I smiled as sweetly as I could and leaned against the door slightly.  
"Hi, is Sam okay? Is she in the hospital?"  
I opened the door even wider and pointed inside.  
"No, she's in here!"  
He nodded and threw his bag next to the coats rack and then began calling for Sam.  
I grinned and skipped across to him, waving my skirt.  
"Oh, Sam's not here."  
Freddie frowned.  
He was cute, I decided but not nearly as cute as Robbie.  
"But didn't you just say-"  
I skipped closer to him.  
"Well... aren't you a handsome boy full of questions."  
He frowned again.  
"Look, I'm really worried about my friend Sam... wait, handsome?"  
I wrapped my hair around my finger and smiled.  
"Sure beans."  
I then skipped off to the kitchen - it felt like a skippy day today.  
Haha... Skippy.  
"So.. you're Cat?"  
Freddie asked, and I smiled, grabbing a tray of cookies.  
"Yep, Cat Valentine."  
I popped a piece of cookie into my mouth.  
"Why?" I asked, "You like Cats?"  
He looked a little confused but I didn't mind.  
"Yeah, but... So, you're Sam's roommate?"  
"Uh huh."  
"The girl who called me last night?"  
I nodded then headed to the door.  
"Yeah, you add me to your contacts?"  
Freddie turned around, "No.."  
I shrugged happily, "Well there's plenty of time for that."  
He frowned again, then turned around, again.  
Hey that almost rhymed!  
"Look, I'm really worried about Sam."  
I leaned over the counter, a puzzled look on my face. "Why?"  
Freddie was supposed to be my friend now!  
He looked confused too.  
"Cause! Apparently she got run over by a sports utility vehicle!"  
I giggled. "Says who?"  
He looked even more confused now. Hehe.  
"You! You said that!"  
I giggled again. This was fun.  
"When?"  
I kind of zoned out for a bit after that. I did hear him say buttocks though.  
Hehe, buttocks.  
"So.. Do you wanna hang out with me today?"  
Aww! He was stuttering! Kinda like Robbie did sometimes...  
"-I don't know what you mean."  
finished Freddie, an embarrassed look on his face.  
I patted his shirt, then ran my hand up his arm.  
"Oh... y'know, just me and you... couple of friends... hangin'."

*Sam POV*  
This chick Jade was pretty awesome. I mean, sure Carly and Cat were great but it was nice to hang out with someone who understood the many joys in life that involved inflicting pain on others.  
It didn't look like there were any free spaces in Bots. Urgh, chiz like this made me want to slap a robot.  
Mama needs her fried chicken.  
I watched as Jade pulled a chair out and sat down at a table of probably like nine year old boys.  
Oh, this was gonna be good.  
Two minutes later and the boys had run away, leaving us with not only a table but free food.  
The best kind by far.  
Next to fried, that is.  
My train of thought was interrupted by a very loud, very girly and very exaggerated laugh from one of the booths behind me.  
Rolling my eyes, I turned around. God, what was Cat doing now?

I froze instantly.  
"What the... is that?.."  
Now they were both laughing.  
Ugh.  
"No way."  
Jade looked up from the potato chip she was eating.  
"What? Cat?"  
I frowned, not looking away from the booth where my best friend and ex boyfriend were sitting.  
"No, it's- Uh- Fr-, ugh, just come with me!"  
I marched up to the booth, my head racing with thoughts.  
This could not be happening.  
What was he even doing here?  
Why hadn't he called me?  
"Oh!" Cat exclaimed, "Look who's here!"  
"Sam! Hi!" Freddie reached up to hug me.  
To hug me!  
I mean, what the chiz?  
He can't just...  
Ugh!  
And now he was trying to make excuses. Something about being run over? Ugh. Dork.  
"Hey Freddie, this is my friend Jade!"  
I was seriously considering killing Cat right now.  
"Jade, how cute is my new friend Freddie?"  
I clenched my fists.  
Why.  
Why was this happening to me.  
"Yeah, he's a pretty little chunk a boy." Jade replied, chuckling, probably enjoying the show.  
Freddie laughed nervously, "Well, this is awkward..."  
I rolled my eyes. "Your entire life is awkward, you should be used to it by now."  
Oops.  
Reflex.  
Would it be wierd to say I kind of missed teasing him like that?  
Yeah probably.  
Urgh.  
"When did you get here?"  
Freddie sat back in his seat, "This morning!"  
Cat butted in, making the chances of her surviving the next few minutes one hundred to one.  
"Yep, me and Freddie have been hanging out ALL DAY."  
I felt even more annoyed now.  
Was he serious?  
"So you've been here a whole day, and you didn't call me, or text me, or buy me a present?"  
Frednerd looked almost scared now. Nice to know I've still got that effect on him.  
"Sam, I was gonna, but-"  
"Ooh, Freddie! We're going to be late for our tour!" Cat was waving that stupid pink watch clock thing she had got from Nonna.  
Right now, I could have easily smashed it.  
"What tour?" Jade asked, most probably trying to get a reaction out of someone.  
"I'm taking Freddie on a tour of the Los Angeles freeways!" Cat grinned.  
Freddie actually looked excited.  
I couldn't believe this was happening.  
I mean I got why Freddie would have chosen Carly over me, but Cat? I mean, really?  
I guess I'm just forever destined to be second choice.  
As soon as they had gone, I plopped down in the previously occupied booth, opposite Jade.  
"Can you believe Cat?" I literally felt like I was going to explode.  
Jade rolled her eyes, "Yeah, for some reason she's always loved freeways."  
I frowned, then leant my elbows on the table.  
"No, she was jealous because you and I were hanging out, so she called my friend Freddie, and made him come to LA just to bug me."  
Jade smiled slightly across the booth, "Well, where I come from, and that's a dark, dark place..."  
I nodded, keen to see where she was going with this.  
She continued, "We don't get mad at people, we get even. Well actually, we get mad, then we get even. And sometimes we smear fake blood on their doors in the middle of the night, but that seems extreme in this case."  
I sighed, not so much of a plan then. "So, how can I get even with Cat?"  
Jade shrugged, fiddling with her nails, "Well... I really don't wanna take sides..."  
I sighed again. "Come on."  
"Okay." She leaned across the table, "I'm getting a strong feeling you and Freddie used to date."  
Oh chiz.  
What do I say?  
"I'm not proud of it." was the first thing that came out of my mouth.  
Eh, good enough.  
Jade seemed to accept it. "Well... since Cat's running around with your ex boyfriend..."  
I winced, "Don't.. say it out loud."  
Jade reached into her bag, "You make a date... with this guy."  
She showed me a picture of some gangly looking kid with a mop of curly hair and glasses.  
"His name's Robbie, and Cat's had a crush on him like, forever."  
I squinted at the picture. That was a guy? Oh chiz, Los Angeles really was wierd.  
"Him?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow.  
Jade shrugged, "He's sort of a him."

*Freddie POV*  
"So wait... the iCarly webshow couldn't start till you pointed at the girls?" Cat asked, seeming impressed.  
To be fair, she was pretty easy to impress, but still! Cualquiera es major que nadie!  
"That's right! I'd go 'in five, four, three, two..."  
After a moment, Cat said, "You missed out the one!"  
I chuckled at the oblivious look on her face, "No, see, I intentionally don't say the one."  
Cat nodded, understandingly, "It's okay, Freddie. Whenever I count down, I always forget the three."  
I frowned. Right. This was a bit wierd. Not that this entire day hadn't been so far anyway.  
And it just got wierder when we entered the apartment and found Sam apparently getting serenaded by some nerdy looking guy.  
"ROBBIE SHAPIRO!" Cat yelled, causing the guy to fall backwards off his stool.  
Sam was sitting on the couch, looking very pleased with herself. "Oh Cat! You're back! Robbie was just singing me a little song he wrote called-"  
"I know what it's called!" Cat yelled, "He wrote that song for me!"  
The guy, who was apparently called Robbie, had now gotten up from the floor, and was standing probably just about a safe distance from Cat.  
"I'm swell! Me! He sang that to me over a year ago!" Her face was getting pretty red, and I was starting to feel like I shouldn't be here.  
Sam looked up from the bottle she was drinking out of, and offered Cat a sympathetic smile, "Yeah, well, he's singing it to me now."  
I sighed and looked around the room in an attempt to distract myself from what was inevitably turning into something of a scene.  
"My life really is ugly."  
Cat turned to Robbie and pouted, "Robbie, I thought you and me had something special."  
Robbie turned around and walked around me probably trying to appear intimidating, but really just making me feel a little nauseous (he didn't smell great), and pretty wierded out.  
"Yeah, well, it looks like you've got 'something special' with a lot of guys." He shot at her.  
"Good one glasses!" Sam laughed loudly from the couch. It was the first time I'd heard her laugh in so long. Made me want to smile as well.  
Cat had stormed after Sam into the kitchen.  
"Why did you invite Robbie here?" Cat half yelled,  
"Why did you invite Freddie?"  
Sam retorted.  
Cat took a step forward, "Robbie is in love with me!"  
So did Sam, "So? Freddie's in love with me!"  
My eyes widened.  
How the chiz was I supposed to respond to that?  
Um.  
"Hang on a second!"  
Woah. Smooth, Benson. Smooth.  
Robbie turned to me, anger written across his slightly spotty features, "If you're still in love with Sam, why were you running around Los Angeles, fadoodling with Cat?"  
I looked at Robbie, feeling pretty much embarrassed, and slightly confused.  
I shook it off, "Look, I didn't 'fadoodle' with Cat."  
Cat waved her arms around from the kitchen. "Hey! You could've if you wanted to!"


End file.
